Having a child is supposed to be a joyous time in anyone’s life. Personally, to me, it is. I had an amazing first pregnancy, and I loved every minute of it. My second, however, I would beg to differ and I would love this little parasite to end the torture that it is currently inflicting on my body.
Now, pregnancy has its ups and its downs. For some, they feel wonderful and look amazing. Like those women you see on the cover of pregnancy magazines. They have that pregnancy “glow” that women look for when they become pregnant, but what is this “glow” everyone desperately seeks?
The “glow” is the radiant, beautiful appearance that pregnant women apparently project. I have heard it more than once. “Awe, you are absolutely glowing,” is one of the more famous lines I have heard thus far by multiple people. And yet, I look in the mirror and see me. Same old me. Was I “glowing” before I was pregnant? I sure hope not. I don’t feel any more beautiful than I did before my husband lovingly knocked me up. Or so he likes to phrase it that way.
I can see at times what people are talking about. The pregnancy hormones have done some wonders to my body. My skin tone has evened out more, my hair is more soft and beautiful even after not showering for a couple of days, my nails are gorgeous (and I normally hate my nails), and boy has my body changed a lot more than my first pregnancy. Yes, I am putting on the baby weight in all the right places and my boobs went from being a good handful to breaking my bra seams. I will admit that I do feel gorgeous, beautiful, etc at times, but lets face the facts here, there is no way that feeling lasts forever let alone all day.
Bottom line is, getting morning sickness fucking blows. This is all part of the “glow.” Yes, there are women who bypass this altogether, and for those lucky bitches, fuck you. But there is nothing beautiful about throwing up at random times over stupid things. There is nothing amazing about eating certain items that the little parasite is requesting, and even at times, I can barely keep that down. Some of these odd craving combinations are extremely gross, but my taste buds will deceive me completely and I will think its the best food ever! I still can’t believe that this blueberry size virus is controlling my whole body. (I can’t decide whether to call my baby a parasite or a virus, therefore, I will refer to the baby as both). And even though my breasts have become fuller and much larger, there is no point when I can barely allow my husband to touch me because they hurt and or too sensitive. Yes, it’s there for the little parasite to enjoy after it is born. I get it. I know most of this disgusting feelings eventually passes after the first trimester, but in the end it’s what the baby wants.
Pregnancy obviously affects everyone differently. Like I said, my first one was spectacular. I was like a pregnancy unicorn. It was full of rainbows and happiness. Or maybe I felt that way because it was my first child. Who knows.
The “glow” has its good days and bad days. I am not going to tell you if its fact or myth. Every pregnant women can decide on her own whether or not she has the “glow.”
At times, I feel absolutely gorgeous and nothing or no one will tell me otherwise. I look at myself and I am super excited to be pregnant again. Plus, my husband does so much of the heavy lifting in my life and makes it easy. He can at times be over-attentive, overprotective and treats me like glass, but I get it, I am carrying his child and he has no grounds to complain. Like I would let him anyways, otherwise I would probably eat his face off then the baby would force me to throw it up. I am after all sacrificing my whole body for this.
Then there are days where I am exhausted, tired, nauseous, and I feel utterly disgusting and wish I could take back ever reconsidering having another baby. I was stupid enough to think that my second time would be as simple as my first. Well, it’s not. I just have to ride out the storm.
I know that once the baby arrives, I will be extremely happy and all this up and down torture will be worth it. I love being a mom. It’s the best job in the whole world. I had one child for 7.5 years to myself and I am finally ready for another one. I cant wait to meet my little one and although I still have a lot time left, some of the fun stuff is starting to begin.
My husband and I are having a blast picking out baby names, designing potential nurseries, and shopping for some baby odds and ends. I guess the “glow” comes when I am at my happiest. I feel such joy and love when I bring up my pregnancy to total strangers or when they ask how far along I am. I can see how I light up about it. Glow even. But the moment they ask about the horrendous side effects of pregnancy is when that feeling disappears. So if people could avoid that subject of morning sickness and crazy weird cravings that disgust normal non-pregnant people, I guess every pregnant women could experience the “glow.”